LISTENING

Read the text below, preferably aloud.  As you hear the word, “listen with the ear of your heart” for a word or short phrase that God has for you this day.

John 8:3-11

The scribes and the Pharisees brought a woman who had been caught in adultery; and making her stand before all of them, they said to him, “Teacher, this woman was caught in the very act of committing adultery.  Now in the law Moses commanded us to stone such women.  Now what do you say?”  They said this to test him, so that they might have some charge to bring against him.  Jesus bent down and wrote with his finger on the ground.  When they kept on questioning him, he straightened up and said to them, “Let anyone among you who is without sin be the first to throw a stone at her.”  And once again he bent down and wrote on the ground.  When they heard it, they went away, one by one, beginning with the elders; and Jesus was left alone with the woman standing before him.  Jesus straightened up and said to her, “Woman, where are they?  Has no one condemned you?”  She said, “No one, sir.”  And Jesus said, “Neither do I condemn you.  Go your way, and from now on do not sin again.”

COMMENTS

Jesus appears to disregard — to not listen — to what the scribes and Pharisees are saying, as he is bent down and writing on the gound.  But he IS listening, not so much to the content of their words, as to the deeper meaning.  Jesus “hears” the crowd as they project their own shadow sides, their own darkness, onto this woman; as their angry and self-righteous words swirl above his head, Jesus “hears” the manipulative intent of this crowd; he “hears” them dehumanize and use this woman as a pawn; and he also “hears” this crowd dehumanize themselves, as they blindly distance themselves from their own inner truth and desperate need for healing — and from the only Source, Jesus, who can provide that healing.

As I prayed with this text, I was struck by an experience of synchronicity — also known as a “God-incidence”.  In my life these days, there is much that is swirling all around me and within me, and as I struggle with this I’ve wondered sometimes: “Where is Jesus?”  I think now, that maybe all along, Jesus was bent down to the ground of my being, writing on the ground, and “hearing” all that I’ve been experiencing.  I think Jesus was waiting for the right time to stand up and say exactly what I needed to hear, at this exact time — because perhaps it’s only at this exact time that I could possibly hear it anyway.  As with the woman in this text, his words to me uphold my dignity and humanity; his words to me are healing, gentle, and life-giving.

This kind of prayer teaches us to “listen with the ear of [our] heart” for a word from God. 

Have you “heard” any God-incidences in your life lately?  Has Jesus been bent down to the ground of your being, waiting with you for that time, in which to give you a word that is uniquely only for you? 

Listen…

-Amie Schumacher

©Woman Caught in Adultery, Aiden Hart with contributions by Donald Jackson and Sally Mae Joseph, 2003 The Saint John’s Bible, Order of Saint Benedict, Collegeville, Minnesota.  Scripture quotations are from the New Revised Standard Version of the Bible, Catholic Edition, © 1993, 1989 National Council of the Churches of Christ in the United States of America.  Used by permission.  All rights reserved.

MEDITATING

Ruminate on the word you were drawn to in yesterday’s scripture passage (John 7:53-8:11). What does the word or phrase you have chosen mean to you today?

COMMENTS

The phrase that stood out for me today was: “…such women.”  I could almost feel the contempt and utter disregard those two words are meant to convey in this context.  They serve to further isolate and objectify this woman.  I was reminded of a conversation I had long ago with someone close to me, and she used a similar phrase: “…those women,” also in reference to a particular sin.  I quietly reminded her that I was one of “those women.”  This person stumbled in trying to regroup and said: “I just don’t see you that way.”  In this response is yet another similar phrase: “…that way.”  I remember feeling sadness that this person, whom I love very much, simply could not tolerate the truth of who I am in my totality – my failures as well as my goodness.  I felt our relationship suffer in that moment, since it was not possible for this person to truly be with me – she could only tolerate being with her image of me…which is not me.

We are all “such women”…we are all “such men”…our church is “such a church”; our family, our parish, our hierarchy, our clique, is “such a ….”  We all fail to fully embrace the challenge of the Gospel; we all struggle to fully receive and believe in the radicality of the non-condemnatory love Jesus has for each of us; and we all struggle to embrace our own particular darkness…our own particular brand of infidelity.

In this passage, Jesus is teaching me to be aware of my own ‘inner Pharisee/scribe’ – that inner critic that struggles to allow Jesus to heal and integrate my identity…my humanity…my true self.  Jesus gently urges me to let go of the rocks, and allow myself to truly be with the person of Jesus – instead of settling for my image of Jesus.  The reality of Jesus is so much more.

-Amie Schumacher

©Woman Caught in Adultery, Aiden Hart with contributions by Donald Jackson and Sally Mae Joseph, 2003 The Saint John’s Bible, Order of Saint Benedict, Collegeville, Minnesota.  Scripture quotations are from the New Revised Standard Version of the Bible, Catholic Edition, © 1993, 1989 National Council of the Churches of Christ in the United States of America.  Used by permission.  All rights reserved.

SEEING

Return to God’s word for the purpose of “hearing and seeing” Christ in the text. Fix your gaze on the illumination below. Ask God to open the eyes of your heart and enable you to see what God wants you to see. Be open to images, thoughts, impressions, and feelings that come into your awareness.

COMMENTS

I was aware of many unsettling feelings and reactions while praying with this illumination — which is just one reason why this form of prayer can be so powerful.  In Visio Divina, one is gently drawn from the head into the heart, where Jesus awaits each of us.  Today, the emphasis is on “seeing,” and spending time with what it is God may want to show you…about you.

I was initially struck by the direct gaze of the man second from the left in the top panel.  It seemed he was looking right at me and was asking me the same question asked of Jesus: “What do you say?”  I began to think of how I can be so quick to judge, especially in certain circumstances.  How hard it is to let go of the rocks and walk away.

It’s especially difficult to let go when you have a personal investment in a person, a relationship, or some issue; or when deep hurt has been inflicted, and the other person exhibits no sorrow.  The look on the woman’s face touched my heart.  In the top panel, she appears to be feeling fear and shame; in the bottom panel, I see sadness…and also fear of the unknown…fear of the future.  Jesus says to her: “Go your way…”, but what does that mean?  The curtain is drawn aside and she is invited to ‘choose life,’ so to speak, walk into the light, and from now on “…do not sin again.”  Yes, Jesus has forgiven and blessed her, but this does not necessarily translate into instant freedom from shame and pain, inner healing, or clarity of thought and purpose.  Healing takes time, it’s often quite painful, and there’s typically many stops and starts along the way.

In the bottom panel, I see a sense of apprehension and doubt on the woman’s face.  Perhaps she’s wondering: “What IS my way?”  Sometimes ‘choosing life’ is tough.  Sometimes those old ruts…those old ways of being and thinking about oneself and others…are more attractive — simply because they’re known, predictable, and resonate well with a deep sense of pain or shame.  The season of Lent is an intense reminder as to why Jesus, God-incarnate, came to live, suffer, and die among us.  Jesus walks with us as we struggle to let go, not only of the rocks, but also of the habits and ways that keep us from truly living.  Jesus walks with us in the form of a “community of healers” — people who can provide the love and support we need to keep making those small steps toward a more abundant life, and who will continue to support us when we feel the need to stop, or even go backwards, for awhile.  One thing I know: God is in all of it.

What do YOU say?

-Amie Schumacher

©Woman Caught in Adultery, Aiden Hart with contributions by Donald Jackson and Sally Mae Joseph, 2003 The Saint John’s Bible, Order of Saint Benedict, Collegeville, Minnesota.  Scripture quotations are from the New Revised Standard Version of the Bible, Catholic Edition, © 1993, 1989 National Council of the Churches of Christ in the United States of America.  Used by permission.  All rights reserved.

SEEING (continued)

Return to God’s word for the purpose of “hearing and seeing” Christ in the text. Fix your gaze on the illumination below. Ask God to open the eyes of your heart and enable you to see what God wants you to see. Be open to images, thoughts, impressions, and feelings that come into your awareness

COMMENTS 

The emphasis again for today is on “seeing,” as we continue to allow the center of our prayer to move from our head into our heart.  We move from the literal sense, and wondering ‘What does this text mean?’, to a more symbolic sense, as we ask ourselves: ‘What does this text mean

for me?’

Once again, I am drawn to focus on the illumination in the second panel.  As I gaze at the wide open space revealed beyond the curtain, and as I ponder Jesus’ words: “Go your way…”, I’m aware of an inner sense of loneliness and apprehension.  I wonder what these feelings are connected to in my past or present, and what that means for my relationship with Jesus, and my relationship with others.  Sometimes this form of prayer can stir up memories in need of healing; it can shine a light on distorted attitudes we carry about ourselves or others that hinder our spiritual journey, and our relationships with God and others.  This can be painful, but if we can allow ourselves to sit with Jesus in this space for at least a little while, and share about these memories and feelings, the fruit of this prayer just multiplies.  Jesus is so tender-hearted when it comes to healing, since that is often a first step toward authentic relationship and discipleship.

In my imagining and praying with this illumination today, I wasn’t able to sit at Jesus’ feet for very long, while attempting to share about these feelings of loneliness or apprehension.  Perhaps that level of intimacy will come later, in another time of prayer.  Today, I imagined a different ending to this text.  I imagined that, after Jesus tells the woman to ‘go her way,’ he then invites the matriarchs within his group of disciples, to come forward.  They gladly come and embrace this woman, their sister, and they invite her to sit with them, as they continue to listen to Jesus teach.  One of them brings her a cup of hot tea, and they help her to tangibly feel a sense of belonging in this community; they help begin the healing process with regard to her identity, her sense of value and worth, her dignity, and her humanity.  In gratitude, she quietly weeps, and Jesus smiles, as he continues to teach.

This is my ending to this text.  What would yours look like?

–Amie Schumacher

©Woman Caught in Adultery, Aiden Hart with contributions by Donald Jackson and Sally Mae Joseph, 2003 The Saint John’s Bible, Order of Saint Benedict, Collegeville, Minnesota.  Scripture quotations are from the New Revised Standard Version of the Bible, Catholic Edition, © 1993, 1989 National Council of the Churches of Christ in the United States of America.  Used by permission.  All rights reserved.

PRAYING

Pray to God, allowing for the transformation of your being and feelings. Give to God what you have found in your heart.

COMMENTS

The emphasis for today within this prayer of Visio Divina, is “praying.”  In this aspect of the process, one is to discern: “What does this text mean for me?”  Time then is spent in dialogue and interaction with God, regarding what the Spirit has brought most prominently to one’s awareness.

I realized Jesus’ interaction with both the scribes and Pharisees, and this woman, were challenges steeped in love.  Jesus confronted these abusive men, not by engaging them in a heady dispute about the law, but by bringing them face-to-face with their own inner reality and truth.  Only in their hearts could true conversion take place – if they are willing to receive it – and that is their challenge.  Jesus gently comforts this woman, and releases her from condemnation, but he challenges her as well.  The curtain is drawn aside, revealing Jesus’ invitation for her to walk in the light of his way – within the reality and context of her life and her need for ongoing healing and conversion.  This will certainly be difficult, given what she will need to face: her husband, her family, her social standing and context, and so on.

We all have to face the consequences of our actions, and sometimes that process can be quite painful.  But as this illumination reveals, we don’t ‘go our way’ alone: Jesus invites each of us to walk in his light, as we go about the daily business of our lives.  Our challenge in this Lenten season is to seek our own inner truths with Jesus; to allow Jesus to gently bring us to greater awareness of ourselves – which is the gift of deeper conversion, and a more intimate relationship with Christ.

Jesus is always calling us — challenging us — to come closer to hiim.  The depth of his yearning for each of us is hard to fathom, but no less true.

What message does Jesus want you to hear today?

–Amie Schumacher

©Woman Caught in Adultery, Aiden Hart with contributions by Donald Jackson and Sally Mae Joseph, 2003 The Saint John’s Bible, Order of Saint Benedict, Collegeville, Minnesota.  Scripture quotations are from the New Revised Standard Version of the Bible, Catholic Edition, © 1993, 1989 National Council of the Churches of Christ in the United States of America.  Used by permission.  All rights reserved.

CONTEMPLATING

  Notice the transforming presence of God within you. Let go of words and images. Surrender all that is stirring, even if only briefly, and rest for a few minutes in God’s embrace.

COMMENTS

I sat down to pray this morning, read through the passage once, gazed at the illumination again and realized: I just really don’t want to sit with this text again.  I felt a sense of resistance and wondered why.  I decided to “distance” myself a bit from the central action in the story, and imagined myself in the crowd of people who had come to the Temple to hear Jesus teach.  As I watched what then transpired, many thoughts and emotions came to the fore.  I realized that my “judgment” of the woman hinged on whether or not I liked her; it depended on my perception of her attitude – was she defiant and arrogant, or was she shamed and fearful; I realized my own rocks were as death-dealing as those of the scribes and Pharisees – just less obvious.

In my imagination, I then halted the action: pressed the ‘pause’ button so to speak, and pictured Jesus now sitting with me in the back of the crowd, viewing the whole scene.  I spoke with Jesus about what was coming up for me: I wanted to leave…I wanted to turn my back on the whole situation and get myself to safety; I was reminded of a few acts of brutality I’d witnessed in my past – acts perpetrated on completely helpless victims; I recalled some acts of brutality I myself had experienced, at the hands of someone who is supposed to love and care for me – and my own helpless vulnerability during those times; and I also recalled times when I had inflicted pain on others – equally helpless and vulnerable.  I didn’t like being on either side: either as victim or as perpetrator – and I told this to Jesus.  Jesus then invited me to allow the shadow side of me, and the victim side of me, to sit with one another: to talk and to learn of the other; to understand; and hopefully someday, to embrace, forgive, and integrate into greater wholeness.

We all have aspects of ourselves we’d rather not see or acknowledge.  But when we turn our back to what’s really inside of us, we just end up projecting this onto other people, because they remind us of what we’d rather not see in ourselves.  This is one of the sources for such realities as racism and sexism; it’s also one way that abusive behavior is acted out generationally within families.

In my prayer today, Jesus gently brought to my awareness aspects of myself that need healing and acceptance – in order to give me the gift of greater wholeness, inner freedom, and deeper conversion.  Inner healing always brings us intimately closer to Christ, because we then become less afraid of our own humanity.

What does Jesus want to heal within you today?

— Amie Schumacher

©Woman Caught in Adultery, Aiden Hart with contributions by Donald Jackson and Sally Mae Joseph, 2003 The Saint John’s Bible, Order of Saint Benedict, Collegeville, Minnesota.  Scripture quotations are from the New Revised Standard Version of the Bible, Catholic Edition, © 1993, 1989 National Council of the Churches of Christ in the United States of America.  Used by permission.  All rights reserved.

BECOMING CHRIST-LIKE

Return to God’s word. Allow it to transform you. Notice how your faith is being deepened and your way of life motivated.

COMMENTS

The emphasis for this phase of Visio is: “Becoming Christ-like.”  We ask ourselves: ‘What difference can this text make in my life?’  ‘How am I challenged by this text?’

As I prayed with this text again, I returned to what I perceive is a moment of choice for the woman, as depicted in the bottom panel.  Scripture doesn’t tell us what this woman’s life was like before this event.  We don’t know what kind of life experiences, possibly even traumas, may have transpired which served to form her way of looking at herself and her world.  We don’t even know her name.  This particular passage is referred to as “free-floating,” in that not only was it not included in the earliest manuscripts of John’s Gospel, it also had been placed in different places within John, as well as within another Gospel, in later manuscripts.  It seems to me that the story about this woman is as unsettled and rootless as the woman herself.

That sense of being unsettled, and facing a choice, is what I see in this woman…and in myself.  In reality, we all are challenged on a daily basis to ‘choose life,’ and to walk past that drawn curtain into the light, with Christ.  Every choice, no matter how seemingly trivial, can reflect our outlook on life.  I do know that when significant pain or trauma has occurred, as it has for this woman, you can’t then ‘choose life,’ or ‘walk into the light,’ as if nothing has happened.  Trauma changes us.  We don’t transcend our pain, so much as we integrate its lessons into our very self, with Christ’s healing presence and touch.  And this is what I see as “becoming Christ-like.”  All throughout his active ministry, Jesus experienced — and integrated — the pain of rejection from family, friends, leaders within the Temple, and most of the people at large.  All along, he faced the choice of continuing his mission…or not; all along, his pain served to deepen his love and commitment to us; and all along, his choices prepared him for his ultimate choice.  In the Garden of Gethsemane, Jesus ‘chose life’ in choosing to stay true to his mission, to his love for God, and to his love for us.  Christ knows how difficult and searing this choice can be…and he walks with us as we struggle to choose.  For me, that’s becoming Christ-like.

How are you becoming Christ-like?

–Amie Schumacher

©Woman Caught in Adultery, Aiden Hart with contributions by Donald Jackson and Sally Mae Joseph, 2003 The Saint John’s Bible, Order of Saint Benedict, Collegeville, Minnesota.  Scripture quotations are from the New Revised Standard Version of the Bible, Catholic Edition, © 1993, 1989 National Council of the Churches of Christ in the United States of America.  Used by permission.  All rights reserved.